How Choosing Your 5 Closest People Can Change Everything

Speaker 1: [0:01] Welcome to the collecting keys Friday Focus.

Mike DeHaan: [0:07] What's going on, guys? On this episode of the Friday Focus, I wanted to talk about one of the key principles of life that I sort of take into every aspect of things that I do and that I feel has had a huge impact on my life. And I really started to embrace this. And that is the concept that you are the five people that you spend the most time with. A lot of people talk about networking, and like what that looks like, and like how you make business connections and you know, all these sort of things. But kind of one of the problems with general networking is that when you're doing stuff that is unauthentic, or you're trying to meet with people for a purpose, it's hard to really have a meaningful relationship and to really get anything super fruit from those relationships. Like sure, every now and then you'll connect with people, you know, you like go to a conference and you kind of vibe with someone and you hit it off. But if you if your only way of networking and like socializing as being in these sort of forced environments, you don't really like glean anything off these people, you don't really get like a whole lot of opportunity with them, either with growth, or through your business or whatever you're trying to accomplish. But one of the biggest things that I think most people tend to do is that causes them issues is they try to network more and have more of these unauthentic relationships without looking at who they are spending their time with, like, on an everyday basis, right? And the thing is, is growth is all about exposure over time.

Mike DeHaan: [1:46] So if all you do to try and grow is go to like a one time meetup or a one time networking thing, and then you come back and you hang around with people that are bringing you down, you're hanging around with your coworkers at your w two, who just spend all their day bitching and complaining. Even though you were elevated for that short period of time when you were around those people that were like minded, you come back into your space, and then it just brings you right back down again. So no growth ever actually takes place. You know, when I was a victim of this back when I was an engineer, and I was working at Boeing, I had these aspirations to do bigger things, and I would seek them. And one of the ways that I would sort of try to grow was by trying to connect with people either online or I like listening to podcasts or doing all these sort of things. And sure, I would get growth in that moment, I was connecting with the individual that I was conversing with or listening to. But then the second I took out those headphones or I disconnected from the person I was talking to, I would be immediately back in a place where I was just surrounded by miserable people working at their Boeing careers that weren't doing anything. They had no aspirations at all. And the challenge with that cycle is it's so vicious. And unless you're intentional, you're never really going to get out of that.

Mike DeHaan: [2:58] And what I ended up having to do, I quit my job, right? I recognize the toxicity of that, and I jumped ship, which was an extremely difficult thing to do. And I understand most people are a) not brave enough and b) don't have the ability to do so because they just can't afford to. Was fortunate that it was just me and my wife, and we didn't really have an expensive lifestyle. But by separating myself from that, sure, it was lonely, but it sort of opened me up to start to explore new groups of people and new paths and different things, right and have a little bit more freedom without being around, you know, without becoming the sum of the five measurable people I was spending my time with every day. Instead, as I started to go on my own way, I started to spend more time with like, people that I was coaching at the gym that were successful entrepreneurs, either as clients or as like the gym owner himself, who's a good friend of mine, or starting to spend time with people that were in real estate. I there were people that I connected with, that became a real estate investor, that I would talk to on a very regular basis. And all of a sudden now instead of spending time with the angry person at Boeing, I'm now talking to one of the other investors here in town, who's one of my good friends, and we were building our business at the same time. We would spend literally hours just talking to each other like several times a week about ways we're growing our business things we're excited about. And that sort of started getting the wheels going.

Mike DeHaan: [4:20] And then what was really the next level was when I first started joining high level masterminds and groups of people that were highly motivated to get to the kind of the next level, right, like to start making real money, real wealth, having real opportunities. Like, will always remember the first mastermind that I joined, and it literally changed my life. And I jumped into this with the expectation of I'm going to be incredibly involved. I'm going to converse with people, I'm going to go to the meetings, I'm going to be a contributor in this, and I'm going to get to know these people that want to do what I want to do. And over those next several months between connecting with the coach and all the other members, my entire worldview shifted, right? I used to be around people that would complain about their paychecks or like their raises that were a couple thousand dollars for like the whole year. And they would say like, oh, you know, that's not really a whole lot for doing nothing, right? Even though they're making $10,000 a month, and I thought that was amazing. They're making that much money. But I was understanding why they did get us about the raises. And so I have that was their view on money. And then all of a sudden, I'm connecting with these people who are making 30 to 40 to $50,000 a month. And I'm like, wow, I've always heard about people that could do this. I've never met them. So then I start connecting with them.

Mike DeHaan: [5:41] I'm like, well, want to do that. And they go, well, here's how you do it. And we start working together on these situations. And we start, you know, networking and growing together. All of a sudden, I'm surrounded by people that are making $50,000 a month. And what happens, I sort of became that person, right? And this is true not just with business and finance, but also with fitness, with health, being a parent, whatever it is you want to do with any level of excellence in your life, you need to be around people that are excellent at it. Right? And if you're intentional about that, you elevate to those same people that you're around because that kind of like becomes your identity, you become a part of that tribe. And then once I started outgrew that tribe, I said, well, what about these people that are making 7 figures, these people with 8 figure net worths, where can I find them? So that's when I joined GoBundance. Right? And I know you've heard Dan and I talk about GoBundance on the Collecting Keys main podcast. And that's been so pivotal to our growth both both for Dan and I, and to our business because all of a sudden, we were in a position where Sean people are making $50,000 a month has successful businesses, that was great, but we were all at a ceiling. So now I need to reach those guys that are making a million dollars a year that have huge net worths.

Mike DeHaan: [7:01] And by joining GoBundance, I am now conversing with these guys on a regular basis. And now all of a sudden, the people, most of the people that I talk to on an everyday basis are at this next level that I want to get to. And just going through that cycle and recognizing kind of when you reach your ceiling with the people that you're spending your time with, and being willing and intentional to not only cut people off, but just sort of shift where you're prioritizing your time, Let's start really focusing on being around people that are doing what you want to do. And not just like being there like a leech trying to get stuff from them, but being a contributor, being an equal, like working and striving to be like them and bring them as much value as they're bringing you. So anyway, it's a concept that I love. I think it is super underrated. And I think it's missed on a lot of people because a lot of people, have their group of friends, like they're comfortable in their current day to day situations and their social situations, or they're not. They're introverts, things like that. But it's so so so important that you do strive to get out and to be around people. You know, if you want to accomplish things with your life, you need to be around people that are doing what you want to be doing.

Mike DeHaan: [8:11] So I'm a big believer in the fact that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. And I cannot emphasize that enough. So whatever you're doing today, if you want to get that next level, find a group, find those five people, start bringing them value, start spending as much time with them as you can, and you will be shocked at the impact that it will have in your life. Anyways, guys, thanks for listening. Please go subscribe and leave us a five star review. If you think anybody else would like either our Friday focuses or our main podcast, please share this podcast with them. That always really helps us out. And then please follow me on Instagram if you want to chat. I'm at Mike underscore Invest. Feel free to follow me there and shoot me a DM. I always love to chat with people, and I'll talk to you guys next week.

Speaker 1: [8:59] Thanks for listening to this collecting keys Friday focus. Be sure to subscribe wherever you listen to your podcasts.